This is a story about a client. A talented, capable woman who, in the span of thirteen months, had two remarkable opportunities land in her lap — and let fear cost her both times.
Opportunity #1: She Disqualified Herself Over a "Nice to Have"
At her company, she was given a rare choice: apply for one of two roles. The difference between them? A five-figure salary gap.
She chose the lower role. Not because she wasn't qualified for the higher one — she was. She had every single listed requirement. But the job description also had three nice-to-haves, and she didn't have one of them.
One. Out of three. That weren't even required.
She self-selected out of a higher-paying role because of a nice to have — a preference, not a requirement — and by the time she mentioned it to me, she had less than a day to decide and had already mentally committed to the lower offer.
We debriefed. I was clear: never cancel yourself out of an opportunity before the employer does. Nice to haves are wish lists, not dealbreakers. If you meet the core requirements, apply. Let them decide if you're the right fit — that's their job, not yours.
I was hopeful she'd carry that lesson forward.
Opportunity #2: Her Dream Industry — Below the Listed Salary Range
Not even a year later, she reached back out to me — technically no longer a client, but clearly still needing a coach.
She had received an offer from a company in her dream industry. On the surface, it sounded incredible. Great foot in the door. Brand she'd always wanted to be part of. Exciting work.
But here's what gave me pause immediately: they offered her a salary lower than the bottom of the range listed in their own job description.
Think about that. The company publicly posted a salary range — and then came in below it. That's not a negotiating tactic. That's a red flag.
And it wasn't a small difference. The gap between what they offered and what the role's own listed range suggested was significant — tens of thousands of dollars.
On top of that:
- She'd be leaving a stable company for one in a less stable industry — especially in this era of layoffs
- Her workload would increase substantially
- She'd be doing more for less
My coaching was simple: get on a call with HR and ask for a bump. Not a dramatic counter — just ask to be brought up to at least the floor of their own posted range. That's not bold. That's reasonable.
The Real Problem: Fear
She wouldn't do it.
Not because she didn't understand the logic. She did. Not because the ask wasn't reasonable. It was.
She was afraid they would rescind the offer.
And so she froze. And in freezing, she was about to walk into a dream company situation that could very easily become a nightmare — taking on more responsibility, more risk, less stability, and a salary that didn't reflect any of it.
All because of fear.
What a Coach Can and Cannot Do
This is the part I want every person considering coaching to understand deeply.
A coach can help you:
- Gain personal clarity on what you want and why
- Identify limiting beliefs that are quietly running the show
- Think through strategy and prepare for high-stakes conversations
- Be an objective thought partner in moments when everything feels personal
What a coach cannot do is make you do the work.
Coaching requires courage. It requires a willingness to sit with discomfort, challenge your own assumptions, and take action even when the outcome isn't guaranteed. That part is always on you.
When you work with someone like me, you have to be coachable. You have to be willing to receive feedback — even when it's hard. You have to be willing to explore the deeper stuff, not just the surface-level tactics. And most importantly, you have to be willing to act.
Leaping without knowing exactly where you'll land — that takes faith. And faith, by definition, means moving forward without a guarantee.
That's exactly what she wasn't willing to do. And that's okay — she's human. But it's also exactly why the outcome didn't change.
Opportunity Knocked Twice
In thirteen months, this client had two real shots at significantly better outcomes. Two chances to advocate for herself. Two moments where the door was open and all she had to do was walk through.
Fear answered both times.
I don't share this to be harsh. I share it because I've seen this pattern more times than I can count — and I know that the cost of staying silent, of self-selecting out, of not asking, is almost always higher than the thing you were afraid of.
Companies rarely rescind offers over a respectful counteroffer. What they do remember is who negotiated with confidence and who didn't. And what you carry forward is either the precedent of advocating for yourself — or the habit of not.
So Let Me Ask You
Are you operating out of fear — or out of faith?
Fear says: "Don't ask. They might say no. Don't apply. You might not be qualified enough."
Faith says: "Ask anyway. Apply anyway. You don't lose anything by trying — but you lose everything by not."
Opportunity doesn't always knock twice. And even when it does, it won't knock forever.
The next time a door opens — whether it's a role, a negotiation, or a conversation you've been avoiding — I want you to walk through it. Not because the outcome is guaranteed. But because you deserve to find out what's on the other side.
The Choice Is Yours
Now that you've read this — which one will you choose? Will you keep operating out of fear, talking yourself out of opportunities before anyone else gets the chance to? Or will you choose faith, and start showing up for yourself the way your next opportunity deserves?
If you know it's time to operate out of faith but you're not sure how to get there, that's exactly what I'm here for. As a career coach, I help professionals like you move past what's holding them back and start advocating for themselves with clarity and confidence.
Reach out today and let's talk about what that looks like for you.